See, the thing they never tell you is that being a friend is really hard sometimes. Actually, it's really hard all the time.
I have a friend who has always had a hard life, she's spent most of her life caring for her family. Her sister died at the age of 16. She's had a difficult life and I understand that. For a long time, it was easy(ish) to be her friend. I can't tell you how many times I showed up at her house with chocolate ice cream and a listening ear.
Then she fell in love. And not with just anyone, but a major jerk. He's a terrible person, her family can't stand him, no one else can stand him, and yet she's completely blind to all of this. My warnings to her went unheard, and now she's off with him halfway across the world.
I don't intend for this to be a rant about him, (because that could take up an entire post) but I must say I can't stand him. He's horrible to her, does stupid things and leaves her to deal with it.
She and I were always best friends, for close to 8 years. Both of us have had trouble finding friends in our respective locations, so we've tried to keep up over the internet. It's very difficult.
She's become so sensitive to anything anyone says, that if you don't agree with her, you aren't her friend. I've watched her do it another friend. Her father disagreed with some of her choices and she currently won't talk to him (I know there's more to it than that, but that's a big part of the reason).
She asks me for advice and then gets upset when I give it to her.
Anyway. Being a friend is hard. She's super needy at times and drags me down with her into depression. When I try to talk about some of the things that bother me, she acts like I don't care about her or her problems. It's not that I don't care, but she has the ability to fix things, she just chooses not to. And I'm really not sure why. She has all of the tools, she knows what to do, she just won't do it. So she spends her time feeling sorry for herself, whining about her problems.
If there's one thing that frustrates me, it's people that spend their time complaining about fixable things.
Why am I telling this to the invisible audience of cyber-space? Because I really don't have anyone else to tell it to. My husband is usually willing to listen to me, but I'm afraid I've talked his ear off about this subject and I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about it anymore.
Why do I talk about it so often? She used to be a dear friend, but now she's just... I don't know what the word is. I miss my old friend. I don't think I'll ever get her back, so I'm trying to move on. It's hard though. Right now I don't have any other friends. I am however, hoping to make some soon. Hubby and I are going to be taking Birth Classes starting on Tuesday and I'm hoping to meet someone there. If not, there's always the Mommy and Me classes that I'm hoping to take when the baby is older. (Possibly April or May? I don't know exactly when you start those)
